Sorry Followers

I have nothing to say. My week has been very uneventful. Between family, work and church not much has happened to make my brain go into overdrive. So rather than get on here and half ass a topic, I am just going to be honest. I have nothing profound to say or share with you. So be patient with me. I haven’t forgotten about you guys. Love you all. Have a great and powerful week. 


The real reason I need a man

More than the sex and constant companionship there is a reason that I really need a man. That reason is physical labor. Not saying he would just be a servant for heavy lifting but that’s why I need a man in my life.

I am laying here in my bed covered practically head to toe in medicated icy hot pads. Then I think to myself that it would be really nice to have man that would jump at the chance to massage my sore and aching body.

Better yet, he could be the one doing all the physical stuff that leaves my body aching.  Stuff like taking out the trash. Moving the furniture around so I can clean. Reaching the high spots so I won’t fall off the stool and hurt myself. Opening that stubborn jar that is determined to give me carpal tunnel. Then we can take turns giving each other massages. As long as I come first on days I teach my dance class.

Guns blazing in the park

Yesterday I was teaching dance in the park around jeffery manor. We were winding down so as usual I let the kids have free dance time. I put the music on and the kids go wild. Some were having dance battles while others were doing their own thing. I was dancing with them when one of the children in front of me stopped dancing and said “who is he chasing?” I turned around just in time to see an officer in a bulletproof vest run down the alley that runs parallel to the park before turning to go further in. Then I hear a speeding car and look over to my right to see an unmarked car speed past the park and go through the alley.

Myself and the other adults had already gathered the kids to us behind the playground structure before we knew or saw the man the police were chasing. Not knowing where this man would come from or go we wanted all the kids together. The car pops out on street to my left about to speed back past us then comes a screeching stop. Just as I look back to direction the car just came from I see a young man burst around the front the house next to the park. I get really scared when I start to hear and see more cop cars arrive when there are about 50 kids out in this park. And not knowing what this young man will do in an attempt to escape made every decision that much more important. But we had to stay calm for the kids.

He gets caught right in front of our eyes, tasered and wrestled to the ground by about 5 officers. It was hard to see and I tried to get the kids away before they witnessed the police use excessive force. There were a lot of upset adults because it seems like the police tasered the guy for too long. I was just glad that no one was killed. If the police used too much force make a case and sue but at least the man is alive.

I have several thoughts about this exciting event. This young man had a chance to get away. The police had not yet gotten out of the car and he had already outran the one that was chasing him on foot. The only problem with the path to escape was that it was now filled with about 50 children. The young man literally gave up. The situation probably would have escalated very quickly if he had run towards us and I don’t even want to think of the possibility of someone’s child being used as a human shield. Thankfully that man chose not to take that route.

Also, the number of police that arrived on the scene just to catch one man seemed ridiculous. During the rush when all the cars were coming and people were running to the park I was scared at first that these people were coming to back the young man up.  There were about 8 cars and a paddywagon. But turned out to be just for one man. What a waste of tax dollars. Then I think about how the residents of the community flooded the area. The spectators that arrived along with the police force so they were probably there for crowd control.

Now did the police use too much force? It’s very possible. But they are human and they want to make it home as well. That’s not even mentioning the presence of kids that they also want to prevent from getting hurt by this possible dangerous person. The presence of the kids probably saved this young man’s life. With that many innocent eyes looking, not many would be willing to kill a man. I just wished things like this didn’t need to happen.

Wattpad fantasy chronicles

I have a lot of fantasies to warm me in my bed at night. As I sleep alone, I fill my head up with plenty of hot guys and different stories. They are not long but I was thinking of chronicling them in wattpad. I am sure everyone will think that I am a freak if I shared them, but I think these are just too good to keep all to myself. If you were to write your own book in wattpad what would it be about?

The World Was Watching

The world was watching as America had it’s civil war. The world was watching as America had it’s Civil right movement. The world was watching as time after time it was proven that being black in America was not a good thing. The world was watching as the leaders of the so called “free world” continued to oppress a community that comprises a significant part of it’s country. The world just watched as a young boy was stalked on his way home and ended up dead. The world just watched the justice system of America let his killer go free. The world just watched as this new precedent was established. The world watched as a person can be on record as stalking a person, disobeying the orders from police dispatcher to stop following a kid, end up killing killing the child and in a court of his peers be acquitted of murder because he was “standing his ground”. Couldn’t this have all been avoided if he had done as the police told him? Just for disobeying police orders shouldn’t he be more suspect?  The world watched as the debate rose once again, would this person go free if his victim hadn’t been black. Would he have been acquitted if he had been black himself? The world was watching. What is our story teaching the world about us? What has America become in the eyes of those watching? Why is the world only watching?


Damage Control

Following up from my last post about my friend being told that she only attracted two types of people. Those two types were other women and men that only wanted to screw her. Worst part is that this came from a man that she was screwing. I couldn’t really console her. How do you deal with being told that as a woman you are not marriage material? That men will only want to screw you and run? I was of no help but I let her vent.

I was happy that she cut off contact from this person without even being told. I would definitely have something to say if the conversation hadn’t immediately ended at that point. She told me of how he text her sporadically throughout the weekend before finally calling her yesterday asking if she was avoiding him. I don’t know how much more of a clue you need when a person you are sleeping with doesn’t respond to your texts and calls. Seems pretty obvious to everyone else in the world that those are the signs of trouble brewing. At some point the other night he apparently had an epiphany and realized he had to do some damage control. Meaning she woke up to a whole lot of text messages yesterday morning.

These texts were what should have been said in the beginning but weren’t. Unfortunately for him, they came too late. If he had said this when she first asked the question maybe the statements he made might have been forgiven. Probably not. Those statements caused her to lose respect for him. It’s almost impossible for a man to come back from that.

Once again I don’t understand his M.O.. Does he really think he can cause the illness and be it’s cure? Not very likely. Is this a sloppy attempt to patch things up so he can keep getting in her pants? I don’t think he realizes that he has already gone way past too far. My friend talks a lot when she is around the few people she is comfortable with. Her circle is very tiny so when she lets you in, you get way more than you expected. She is also not as emotional as she comes across. The one sure way to know that you have highly upset her is when she stops talking. If she isn’t even up for a friendly debate with you means that she know longer sees you as a person that should be privy to her thoughts and she has closed her world off. Sucks but that’s her personality. She doesn’t end things with a big fight like most. She just stops communicating. Hard to do damage control on this situation. Don’t even know where the lesson is in this. Hopefully I can think of one soon

At a loss…

I try to be helpful and encouraging to all my friends and anyone that asks me for advice. I try not to say things that are not edifying to a person and can be a destructive seed to them. But a few days ago while chatting with my friend, I was told something that I really didn’t know how to respond to. I can only imagine what she is going through. My friend is living the single life. Something I am now totally convinced is detrimental to a woman pass the age of 25. In her single life at the moment, she has an uncommitted lover. I still don’t get it myself. It’s something between a relationship and friends with benefits. A terrible place for a woman with hopes of marriage to be, but we all fall into these traps in one form or another. But this is not the real conundrum.

I don’t know what made her ask this question, but she definitely shouldn’t have asked her lover. She asked him, “What is her appeal to men?” or “What about her attracts men?” As much time and effort that women put into their appearance, wouldn’t you think the answer was obvious. He however pulled her away from the physical part of her attraction and pointed to her some flaws that hurt her more because it came from him. I am sure he was doing fine and she was listening when he told her that she had two sides. A very strange side and a very hidden side. Not that bad, right? But he went further to tell her that her personality only attracts two type of people. Other women and men that only want to screw her and run. Ouch. Double ouch because it’s from the mouth of the guy that she is currently sleeping with. 

I really didn’t know what to say to her. His honesty and bluntness has really shattered something inside her. I am not mad at him for his honesty, but I wish he had exercised tact and realized this truth should have never come from him. From our earlier talks, I have already gleaned that she doesn’t have confidence in herself anymore where men are concerned. She is being told all the time how she is a good woman, amazing and would make a good wife. Yet she is still single while she watches her friends one by one march down the aisle. It doesn’t help much that she is being told this from men. I’m sure she is thinking, “sure, I’m great. So great for another man, just not you.” Then she has to hear this about the two types of people she attracts. How do I bring her back from the edge after this? 

She told me that after he said that, she couldn’t even continue the conversation. I guess this is one of those times when you thank God for text messages. You can end a conversation without another word or the rudeness of hanging up the phone. I am furious at how he handled the situation. He had took a moment that should have encouraged her and instead completely shattered something. I am not sure what this person’s M.O. is, but I see far more harm coming from his words than good. He could have told her something good to focus on about her personality. Tell her to play up some side of her, but his comments has left her with the impression that there is nothing good about her in a man’s eye. I read the conversation and I wanted to cry because he never answered her question before going in on her horrible personality that makes her only appeal to women and no good men. 

I really don’t know what to tell her. Truth is, I know she cares for the guy she is sleeping with, even if she sees no future with him. She isn’t the type to share her body with someone she doesn’t care for. Yet when he told her the two type of people she attracts, he left only one category for himself to be in. As unflattering as it was for her to be the woman who only attracts men who want to use her. It is less flattering for him to admit that he is one of the men that is using her. And now she is faced with the glaring truth. I am truly at a loss. This is one hard pill for anyone to swallow. 

Does anyone have any advice that I can possibly give my friend? Someway to encourage her no to give up completely on men and a loving relationship. I really hate this.