I have to admit that in this world of instant gratification most have lost the art of anticipation when it comes to dating. For most it just comes down to teasing. Teasing is a very dangerous game though. A game that can end up horribly for women when they tease the wrong person. I am talking about the build up of excitement that you get when you know something is going to happen, but you don’t know when, where, or how. This is something that we should try to add to our relationships. When I say we, I mean women. Women need to learn to let men lead us and realize that anticipation is a good thing.
Anticipation is much more effective and healthier in a relationship than teasing. Teasing causes a constant roller-coaster of hope and disappointment. That constant dangling of the carrot that is just out of reach is frustrating. No one will put up with that. Either give it to me or don’t. That’s the bottom line. However anticipation comes from an understanding of each other without any verbal confirmation.
It’s like being alone in the room with the person you’re attracted to all while knowing that he’s attracted to you just as much. Neither of you have talked up sex or even the idea of getting physical with each other, but you know what each other are thinking. And yes, it’s going to happen. You don’t know when, how or if it will even be that night. You just know when all the conditions come together you will be swept away. And the anticipation of this is as thrilling as the actual event taking place. Not talking about it adds mystery to it, and with a little mystery you have romance. Teasing and anticipation goes way beyond the physical as well. (I do think teasing in a sexual way while in a healthy relationship is perfectly okay to add some spice)
Dating is a thrilling dance that teaches a woman to trust and rely on her partner to take the lead. I know that I can’t stand hesitation and indecision in a man. So when I see it in a man that I am attracted to, I find myself dangling that carrot in front of him to lead him where I need him to go. It’s just that once, he starts feeling confident and wants to take the lead, the chances of me letting him do so are low because he has already let me build the habit of being in charge.
So how about us single gals and pals try something when we start dating again. Gals, I want you to let the anticipation build. Stand back and let him take the lead. Watch how he handles situations. Give encouragement and if asked give and opinion that if helpful without making him lazy. Pals, take the lead in a gentlemanly way that garners trust. when it comes to dates, make a plan and follow through. Make a decision about something. We know you want to take us into consideration, but women are trying to see your leadership capabilities. You can’t be the head of their life if they feel like they are making all the choices. you are just a partner then that will be left when a more powerful man appears.